I, in an emotionally challenging moment, penned down some words in Punjabi which I have posted on my Punjabi blog- Kaaghaz de Kujh Purzei. In a casual chat with my friend Sumanto, I happened to tell him that I wanted to put it up here too, but that I had not done a good job with the translation of the poem. He, very kindly, has translated it for me-rather as he puts it- he has 'transcreated' it for me. Your input is worth appreciation, Sumanto. Thank you.
++++
kamrey ke maroothal kee
deewaro'n se takraa kar
jab
mere lafz
mehz aawazein ban reh jatey hain,
main maa ban kar
pingley baccho'n ki tarah
unko goad mein utha
darr-darr firti hoon,
duaayein maangti
shayad
kabhi shabdo'n ke kaalib* mein
fir se rooh dhadak hi jaye.
(*kaalib-skeleton)
++++
Words rebound
lose their sound
in the four walls
of the desert of my room.
Tired whispers
die a silent death-
in the desert night.
I do my mother act
Gather the fractured words, my progeny,
Onto my lap-
caressing,
petting,
knitting prayers on my lips.
I roam about
each corner of the desert room
Hoping for an oasis
if only the skeletons could get back
the touch of blood
and
live upto life again.
51 comments:
Very nice!
:)
There's something that I'd like to mention here, however.
'Maroothhal' in Punjabi = 'Maroosthhal' in Hindi/Urdu = Desert in English
Wow!
Mampi I always say I love your poems the best !!
Sumanto thank you too :)
Oops...Raygistaan in Urdu, actually.
The reason why I mention all of the above is that in the Urdu-ised Hindi version that appears first, there seems to be no mention of an oasis, which has been introduced in the English version that follows.
Pardon my nit-picking please, but that's just me!
:D
Deep feelings, beautifully transliterated/ transcreated by Sumanto. Special compliments for Sumanto!
Thanks for sharing here.
Keep it up!
Dhindsa
Simply beautiful.
Every time I read your creations I admire you even more.
Aur jo hindi mein ahsash aata hai hai woh english tarnslation mein kahan.
brilliant read mampi loved it
baap re!
ye kahan se aa gaya? kaun se emotions itne strong thhe ki aisa likhe aap?
Beautiful!! I wonder how much goes on in your mind and heart all the time that u can pen down such heart-touching jewels.
Excellent work by Sumanto too!!
Excellent stuff Mampi!
From where I am right now, this makes so much sense.
beautiful all the way...
SS-Thanks for your inputs. The poem, as mentioned is more of a transcreation.
IHM-Thank you my dear. Your comments are highly encouraging.
Mama- guess gurmukhi version is better than the hindi transliteration.
nm-Thank you my dear. yours was the first comment I saw upon waking up.
Monika-Glad you loved it.
Oreen-Bas aiwen hee.
Life Begins-I dont know. It just happens. Thanks.
D-Going by your latest posts, I guess I can understand how you identify with it.
wow..i love it.. the hindi/punjabi one is way too good.. for me the feelings get dissolved with translation.. not that i want to take anything away from ur friend!!
Lovely really lovely !
hey..the joint collab...reads well ....and it seems the only way to get the Procrastinator to do some writing
I think this is the first one that i am reading from you...a poem ie.. :)
And you awe me. If this is a transcreation, as you say... then WOW, the real thing would give me double the goosebumps I have now!
Beautifully penned, and wonderfully closed :
if only the skeletons could get back
the touch of blood
and
live upto life again.
If only...
Wonderful work, Mampi :)
very nice :-)
love your writings!
thanks for the translation :)
Abha-Thanks my dear.
Iya-Original sure is original.
HitchWriter-Thank you.
Pinku-Yeah, he was prompt in doing this(took only two days)
Usha-Thanks. The compliments from you mean so much to me.
Kiran-Thank you so much. Your words make the hard work on translation and transliteration worth.
Beautiful! loved it and thanks for the translation... Thanks to Sumanto too :)
I had goosebumps while reading your poem!
Today I read it again. Its simply too good.What a way to express, I am impressed,totally.Both versions are worth every word.
Nice poem ... so deep and impactful
Nice !
Sumanto has done beautiful translation..
Mampi ye pad kar lagta hai ki mujhe gurmukhi seekh hee leni chahiye!!
Hindi version was very sharp..i can picturise it completely..goad mein uta kar...mmmm..
Just one word: SOULSEARING!
Imp's Mom-Thank you so much for such appreciation. Glad you liked it.
M-Thank you. That you came here for the second time means a lot to me.
Ritu-Thank you.
Jasdeep-yeah,only two people could have done justice to the translation. the other is you.
MySpace-Of course you are missing out on a lot (my other blog for example)-so you must learn Gurmukhi.
Sucharita-What an intense word! Thank you.
i m honored to know someone who writes like this!!
Reading all the comments here, I think I owe a BIG thanks to all of fellow travellers who mentioned me. And specially to Mampi, the poet loved by everyone - here goes my appreciation. I am touched, I bask in the glory that my friend genuinely deserves.
That was wonderful! Beautifully penned.
wow!!! transcreated indeed.
very well done, both of you. :)
This was refreshing! :)
Very nice poem.Full of feelings.
I do my mother act
Gather the fractured words, my progeny,
Onto my lap-
caressing,
petting,
knitting prayers on my lips.
Beautiful lines....Can I ask you something? What prompted you to write this?:)
Since I don't know you language I can't comment on the translation, but I like the English version.
The poem is sad and very beautiful at the same time. Well done, I enjoyed reading it.
Hi, very well said; and Sumanto has done a good job with translation.
Himalayan adventurer
Happy Baisakhi !!
Mampi, I love the way you use words.
As I have said so many times you have a way with words.
So beautifully used….
Tired whispers……Knitting prayers….
wow …wow ….wow...WOW
I loved this.....and great translation too!
Mampijee, tussi very good ho ji. :-)
Quirky Indian
This was touching, Mampi
such moments do come up, when darkness fills us from all sides,
I usually read Gibran in those times :)
wishes,
devika
I very much like this. Thank you for translating it and posting i here. :)
Beautiful..!
YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED MAMPI, I would love to read what motherhood means to you... :) Do pick this tag Mampi :)
-IHM
poignant
aaj tak maine itte tag tumhe pass on kiye, tumne nahi kiye! phir bhi i didnt take the hint! :p
would be super if you can do this one!
http://amateurabe.blogspot.com/2009/04/21-months-at-80-clicks.html
cheers!
abha
Mampi, where are you? post something please....
Viyogi hoga pehla kavi
Aah say upajay honge gaan
nikal kar aankhon say chup chaap
bahi hogi kavita anjaan.
Poems explain pain the best...and this one is a poem from the best..
aajo hun vaapis!!! enna time ghar badalde badalde? :)
madam....jaaaaaaaaaagooooooooooooo re!!!
This seems to be a never-ending absence, Mampi. Wish you come back soon and treat us with your magical words, once again.
Tussi kithhe ho? No post for so long! Hun chhetti ik post likho!
ah such beatiful words, i am so glad your friend transcreated,i wouldnt want to miss it for the world...your language is so musical mampi, keep writing...
This is really very good work of words. The post is very impressive and expressed beautifully..
Congratulations for this post..
Pls visit my blog for my new poem .
http://poemsofvijay.blogspot.com/2009/05/blog-post_18.html
Regards
Vijay
beautiful imagery, evocative, poignant, deep...
and the transcreation has done a great job in making the words move with a spirit of their own...
keep writing both of you!
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