Monday, April 06, 2009

My Words

I, in an emotionally challenging moment, penned down some words in Punjabi which I have posted on my Punjabi blog- Kaaghaz de Kujh Purzei. In a casual chat with my friend Sumanto, I happened to tell him that I wanted to put it up here too, but that I had not done a good job with the translation of the poem. He, very kindly, has translated it for me-rather as he puts it- he has 'transcreated' it for me. Your input is worth appreciation, Sumanto. Thank you.

++++

kamrey ke maroothal kee

deewaro'n se takraa kar

jab

mere lafz

mehz aawazein ban reh jatey hain,

main maa ban kar

pingley baccho'n ki tarah

unko goad mein utha

darr-darr firti hoon,

duaayein maangti

shayad

kabhi shabdo'n ke kaalib* mein

fir se rooh dhadak hi jaye.

(*kaalib-skeleton)

++++

Words rebound

lose their sound

in the four walls

of the desert of my room.


Tired whispers

die a silent death-

in the desert night.


I do my mother act

Gather the fractured words, my progeny,

Onto my lap-

caressing,

petting,

knitting prayers on my lips.

I roam about

each corner of the desert room

Hoping for an oasis

if only the skeletons could get back

the touch of blood

and

live upto life again.



51 comments:

Sidhusaaheb said...

Very nice!

:)

There's something that I'd like to mention here, however.

'Maroothhal' in Punjabi = 'Maroosthhal' in Hindi/Urdu = Desert in English

Indian Homemaker said...

Wow!
Mampi I always say I love your poems the best !!

Sumanto thank you too :)

Sidhusaaheb said...

Oops...Raygistaan in Urdu, actually.

The reason why I mention all of the above is that in the Urdu-ised Hindi version that appears first, there seems to be no mention of an oasis, which has been introduced in the English version that follows.

Pardon my nit-picking please, but that's just me!

:D

Rajindarjit said...

Deep feelings, beautifully transliterated/ transcreated by Sumanto. Special compliments for Sumanto!
Thanks for sharing here.
Keep it up!
Dhindsa

~nm said...

Simply beautiful.

Every time I read your creations I admire you even more.

Aur jo hindi mein ahsash aata hai hai woh english tarnslation mein kahan.

Monika said...

brilliant read mampi loved it

Oreen said...

baap re!
ye kahan se aa gaya? kaun se emotions itne strong thhe ki aisa likhe aap?

Life Begins said...

Beautiful!! I wonder how much goes on in your mind and heart all the time that u can pen down such heart-touching jewels.

Excellent work by Sumanto too!!

D said...

Excellent stuff Mampi!

From where I am right now, this makes so much sense.

Mama - Mia said...

beautiful all the way...

Mampi said...

SS-Thanks for your inputs. The poem, as mentioned is more of a transcreation.

IHM-Thank you my dear. Your comments are highly encouraging.

Mama- guess gurmukhi version is better than the hindi transliteration.

nm-Thank you my dear. yours was the first comment I saw upon waking up.

Monika-Glad you loved it.

Oreen-Bas aiwen hee.

Life Begins-I dont know. It just happens. Thanks.

D-Going by your latest posts, I guess I can understand how you identify with it.

Iya said...

wow..i love it.. the hindi/punjabi one is way too good.. for me the feelings get dissolved with translation.. not that i want to take anything away from ur friend!!

hitchwriter said...

Lovely really lovely !

Pinku said...

hey..the joint collab...reads well ....and it seems the only way to get the Procrastinator to do some writing

Usha Pisharody said...

I think this is the first one that i am reading from you...a poem ie.. :)

And you awe me. If this is a transcreation, as you say... then WOW, the real thing would give me double the goosebumps I have now!

Beautifully penned, and wonderfully closed :

if only the skeletons could get back

the touch of blood

and

live upto life again.

If only...

Wonderful work, Mampi :)

Kiran said...

very nice :-)
love your writings!
thanks for the translation :)

Mampi said...

Abha-Thanks my dear.

Iya-Original sure is original.

HitchWriter-Thank you.

Pinku-Yeah, he was prompt in doing this(took only two days)

Usha-Thanks. The compliments from you mean so much to me.

Kiran-Thank you so much. Your words make the hard work on translation and transliteration worth.

Imp's Mom said...

Beautiful! loved it and thanks for the translation... Thanks to Sumanto too :)

I had goosebumps while reading your poem!

maheshinder_singh said...

Today I read it again. Its simply too good.What a way to express, I am impressed,totally.Both versions are worth every word.

Phoenixritu said...

Nice poem ... so deep and impactful

Jasdeep said...

Nice !
Sumanto has done beautiful translation..

my space said...

Mampi ye pad kar lagta hai ki mujhe gurmukhi seekh hee leni chahiye!!
Hindi version was very sharp..i can picturise it completely..goad mein uta kar...mmmm..

Sucharita Sarkar said...

Just one word: SOULSEARING!

Mampi said...

Imp's Mom-Thank you so much for such appreciation. Glad you liked it.

M-Thank you. That you came here for the second time means a lot to me.

Ritu-Thank you.

Jasdeep-yeah,only two people could have done justice to the translation. the other is you.

MySpace-Of course you are missing out on a lot (my other blog for example)-so you must learn Gurmukhi.

Sucharita-What an intense word! Thank you.

How do we know said...

i m honored to know someone who writes like this!!

sukumbho said...

Reading all the comments here, I think I owe a BIG thanks to all of fellow travellers who mentioned me. And specially to Mampi, the poet loved by everyone - here goes my appreciation. I am touched, I bask in the glory that my friend genuinely deserves.

Solilo said...

That was wonderful! Beautifully penned.

roop said...

wow!!! transcreated indeed.

very well done, both of you. :)

Sudipta Chatterjee said...

This was refreshing! :)

Grewal Kiran said...

Very nice poem.Full of feelings.

Mithe said...

I do my mother act


Gather the fractured words, my progeny,


Onto my lap-

caressing,


petting,


knitting prayers on my lips.


Beautiful lines....Can I ask you something? What prompted you to write this?:)

EXSENO said...

Since I don't know you language I can't comment on the translation, but I like the English version.
The poem is sad and very beautiful at the same time. Well done, I enjoyed reading it.

sudhir said...

Hi, very well said; and Sumanto has done a good job with translation.
Himalayan adventurer

Solilo said...

Happy Baisakhi !!

Sujata said...

Mampi, I love the way you use words.

As I have said so many times you have a way with words.

So beautifully used….

Tired whispers……Knitting prayers….

wow …wow ….wow...WOW

Quirky Indian said...

I loved this.....and great translation too!

Mampijee, tussi very good ho ji. :-)

Quirky Indian

Devika said...

This was touching, Mampi
such moments do come up, when darkness fills us from all sides,

I usually read Gibran in those times :)

wishes,
devika

zirelda said...

I very much like this. Thank you for translating it and posting i here. :)

Manasa said...

Beautiful..!

Indian Homemaker said...


YOU HAVE BEEN TAGGED MAMPI, I would love to read what motherhood means to you... :)
Do pick this tag Mampi :)
-IHM

phatichar said...

poignant

Mama - Mia said...

aaj tak maine itte tag tumhe pass on kiye, tumne nahi kiye! phir bhi i didnt take the hint! :p

would be super if you can do this one!

http://amateurabe.blogspot.com/2009/04/21-months-at-80-clicks.html

cheers!

abha

Sujata said...

Mampi, where are you? post something please....

Manish Raj said...

Viyogi hoga pehla kavi
Aah say upajay honge gaan
nikal kar aankhon say chup chaap
bahi hogi kavita anjaan.

Poems explain pain the best...and this one is a poem from the best..

roop said...

aajo hun vaapis!!! enna time ghar badalde badalde? :)

Pinku said...

madam....jaaaaaaaaaagooooooooooooo re!!!

sukumbho said...

This seems to be a never-ending absence, Mampi. Wish you come back soon and treat us with your magical words, once again.

ThoughtSafari said...

Tussi kithhe ho? No post for so long! Hun chhetti ik post likho!

UL said...

ah such beatiful words, i am so glad your friend transcreated,i wouldnt want to miss it for the world...your language is so musical mampi, keep writing...

Vijay Kumar Sappatti said...

This is really very good work of words. The post is very impressive and expressed beautifully..

Congratulations for this post..

Pls visit my blog for my new poem .

http://poemsofvijay.blogspot.com/2009/05/blog-post_18.html

Regards

Vijay

Sukanya said...

beautiful imagery, evocative, poignant, deep...
and the transcreation has done a great job in making the words move with a spirit of their own...
keep writing both of you!