Tuesday, August 11, 2009


1- What kind of a movie does it take to punch a good man?
Answer -AGYAAT-supposed to be unknown.
2- How much does it cost to produce such a movie?
Answer -A lakh or two, because all that the cast has to do is to run through a jungle and go on running in just a single change of clothes. And their roles go on ending one by one, through convenient elimination, blamed on something/someone unknown.
3- How much does it take for this movie to hire a fight master?
Answer -Nothing, cos you cannot see the villain/vamp.
4- How does the movie end?
Answer -With a single hand asking childishly, who-killed-them-all, and the protagonist says, "Hell yaar, no idea who killed them all. Thank god the shooting for the movie is over."
RGV-what did you do my dear? You are the man who produced and directed Satya, Sarkar, Sarkar Raj, Rangeela, Shool-what on earth is prompting you to go for making horror movies? You are making one horror movie for every socially relevant movie that you give us. But then you are the man who gave us Ram Gopal Verma Ki Aag too. Absurd!
You made Phoonk and when I came back from the movie, I vowed to myself that I would never go to another horror flick ever ever ever. But then being a beautiful little Phool that I am, I allowed myself to be tempted into watching 1920. I have not forgotten the horror yet. I kept postponing watching this movie Agyaat. But then the cruel man that my husband is, he persuaded me to watch it with him. Since I am his only movie buddy, he would either watch it with me, or would not watch it at all. And he always succeeds in persuading me, all that he has to do is to talk about the popcorns.
Coming to the movie, the tension starts right from the beginning as is RGV’s wont. But then this time I was amply disgusted with the gory show every few minutes. I was smarter though, this time I just closed my eyes everytime I suspected a death would take place in the movie. Mahesh refused to be moved by the horror . He said the movie failed to scare him. All through the movie, I kept digging my nails in his arms (whenever tension mounted). Poor guy, he will curse RGV. I mean it is not okay if BEEWI digs her nails in your arms while watching a movie... is it??
For RGV makes this absurd movie and aptly calls it Agyaat-the unknown. And he has the cheek to end the movie by telling us that COMING SOON is AGYAAT 2. I have never threatened my husband with anything. I am such a docile beewi. Today I told him at the end of the movie that he deserves a punch for making me go and buy tickets for this movie. Yawning, he started the car in the abandoned parking of the multiplex. It was at that moment that I again warned him against even suggesting that he wanted to watch Agyaat 2.
I had been whining that I don’t want to go watch a horror flick. I would have been happier sitting home and reading all these beautiful blogs if he had not wasted my precious 1.50 hours watching this movie. But then he is not the only one who is to be blamed. Told you, I had gone there to gobble up those yummy popcorns, movie be damned. And the tragedy is that I didn't eat any. I ended up eating nachos ! Bah, what a colossal waste. I should at least have had my bagful of popcorns. Now i will remember the jungle and water, and Agyaat by the nachos that I had there. Sometimes things just combine to give you that sub-natural feel.
That reminds me to count my blessings. Love AajKal is one of those blessings. It is a fabulous movie. Well, I like any movie in which the hero/one of the heroes is shown as an intelligent romantic Sardar, the way they actually are. Yes, I am racially/communally biased. Saif looks good as the young Rishi Kapoor wooing Gisele Monteiro. Boy, this girl is simply cute-every inch an innocent Punjaban like me, well not so old, nor so fat, but almost as cute. Transparently cute and sweet. Wish her luck.
Deepika is totally smashing. Mahesh did not like her (He finds her too thin) but the moment I told him she is Prakash Padukone’s daughter, he was visibly impressed. Is it something unique with him or is it with you all men?
And the week before that was Luck. Luck-a different kind of movie though they had used too much of the word Luck, Luck, Luck, Luck. 'Luck' in Punjabi is the word that we use for a waist. I have something far more than a waist, hence I have a lot more Luck to my credit. This is why I loved the movie. Imran looks cute, Shruti looks good, Sanjay looks great, Danny is fit as ever. The concept is different, the locations breathtaking. Though towards the end, it was more like a common Hindi Bollywood movie in which the hero saves the heroine in that 15 second period that goes on and on for about 30 minutes.
Next week it would be Kaminey, though I and Mahesh have been laughing at Shahid exposing his muscles, and then next week something else and so on and so forth.

Conclusion: Go watch LoveAajKal
Go watch Luck
Puhleez don’t go watch Agyaat .

But then some people always learn from their own experiences. Didnt the ticket counter guy tell me also that Agyaat was ‘so-so’ kind of a movie? Did I heed his advice in my over-enthusiasm to become a pativrata bhartiya nari out to accompany her husband to a horror movie show?
Mind you, I am writing this post within half an hour of returning from the cinema. Now what kind of a movie inspires you to do a post? Of course something like Agyaat. Mahesh said it didn’t deserve a blog post. He was right, wasn’t he?
And he complimented me liberally once we were out of the cinema hall and I was creating some kind of sounds with my singing. He said, "You are better off with the horror thingy." Now, a husband can get only this cute na !!


Kiran said...

hmmm ... haven't seen agyaat or luck yet...did see love aajkal - i agree with you on the review :-)
will watch luck soon!
what about New York ? good ?

btw...you are tagged!

Liju Philip said...

you watched Agyaat? Heh,even though am a great fan of RGV, i have stopped watching his movies.

Love Aaj Kal was a good effort. It was a small and nice movie. I dunno why people hate Deepika. I mean, when you can tolerate Katrina Kaif movie after movie and make it a blockbuster, what's wrong with Deepika? Its just because she is thin?

Luck was good? That was the biggest turkey of the year. Btw, watch the english movie called "Condemned". Luck is a remake of the same wit the stupid word Luck appearing in the dialogues every 1.5 seconds.

laddu said...

kaminey might be different....
u can also go for public enemies if u want 2 avoid kaminey....

Phoenixritu said...

Movies like Agyaat are seen on DVD at home on fast forward. I love doing that you know, start the movie and fast forward it - follow the story line and then nod sagely in the end of 15 minutes and say "Movie Khatam". Love Aaj Kal was a good one time watch. Must see Luck

Pinku said...

glad to see a post from you...

as for the movies will not comment ....since I have no idea about these and dont intend watching them either.

just wanted to add that Gisele is not a punjaban at all...she is a brazilian model.

Just for the records.

Pradip Biswas said...

I am a banbassi so no problem with films. But I am hearing a software is coming that shall produce a film within 10-15 minutes. The user-friendly dialouge box may ask you the names of Hero(s). heroine, Villian etc, may ask you a commedy or tragedy or horror, may ask you no. of fight, dance, song sequences and the end you like or expect versions 1..n to be continued further. After asking session is over the film is soon produced before you may make a Popcorn Packet at home and watch the movie. You may not blame any one afterall you asked for it.

अर्शिया अली said...

Nice Blog. Congrats.
{ Treasurer-T & S }

Rajindarjit said...

Nice description!

Sidhusaaheb said...

The only RGV movies I like are Satya, 'D' and Company.

Quirky Indian said...

Why would you even want to go watch Agyaat? :-)

I didn't like Love Aaj Kal, but I agree, Saif the Sardar was much better than Saif the architect.

Quirky Indian

Monika said...

oh I will not even in my dreams watch agyyat actually after Aag may be I will never watch a RGV film again... he is a brilliant director gone waste or may be he is just peaked

Love Aaj Kal I saw it, I found it ok... actually the movie concept everything is nice for me Deepika spoils it...

U liked Luck? I have heard horrible reviews of that too

Sudhir Khandelwal said...

Very sharp and witty experiential review. What about forwarding it to RGV? I shall share with you separately my take on Love Aaj Kal.

Gazal said...

I smell a lot of digression in this post.lol

remember the cat scene from 1920.

LAK was a good one.But kahani poori filmy hai.In real life,most people in love get married to someone else and pretend to be in love for the rest of their lives.

a good watch nevertheless.
did you like Bhoot..??I thought that was the best by RGV.btw AAG too was quite a horror !!!

Oreen said...

how cud u watch anything by RGV?
he is a man who lost his plot long back...

another movie that you MUST GIVE THE MISS is Morning Walk...it is OH-SO-HORRIBLE, you can't believe... it has a potentially good story, but no script, hurried characterization, unwanted songs, and absolutely horrible acting... i wonder why Anupam Kher and Sharmila Tagore accepted this movie at all!! that's such a blot on their CVs, man!

Mama - Mia said...

okie! but considering you were all tense / scared and kept digging your nails, wasnt the movie a success?! :p

have heard terrible things about Luck too! i did enjoy Love Aaj Kal. Wish Deepika could act half as much as she looks tho! :D

LOVED the mampi style fun post! :)



Sucharita Sarkar said...

You watched Agyaat? Do join the SPCTRGVFW - that's the Society for Prevention of Cruelty to Ram Gopal Varma Film Watchers. Once upon a time, he was a big favourite of mine...alas!

Love Aaj Kal is good, but the one I don't want to miss is KAMINEY.

Mampi said...

Kiran-Did not see NY. I dont know why. Will go to your blog to pick the tag.

Philip-I curse myself that I ever went to watch this RGV thingy.

Laddu-It might be different. Will go.

Ritu-Guess I, too,would be wiser a few years down the line.

Pinku-Oye, I know you are the 'superior than thou' and wont watch the hindi flicks. About Gisele, Bah, you really think I m that stupid. Nahi na?

Pradip-Thats a grand idea. But I would rather someone else did that job for me. Hehe

Arshiya-Thank you.

Mama-Thank you.

SS- That IS actually the selection.

QI-I was hypnotised so I went.

Monika-Dont my dear, dont.

Sudhir-I wish RGV read me.

Gazal-You are the wicked devil. LAK ho ya LUCK-apun koe toe movie dekhne ka hai. You, too, are good at suggesting horrors.

Oreen-Galti ho gayee baba, maan li na. And thanks for the suggestion on MW. I was actually wanting to go watch it.

Abha-Nahi, it was not a success like that. It scared a bit, but didnt thrill.

Sucharita-Do you think Kaminey would be good? I was planning to give it a miss.

Sujata said...

Humnn...yet to watch any from your list. I wasnot sure about Love Aaj Kal, but you like it! Thank I will surely make it a point to see.

mandira said...

arre!! dont be so gullible, mampi.. ALL RGV movies are B-A-D. the first few he made were alright.. and then somewhere along the line, he kinda lost it completely.. btw, i havent seen even one of the movies u referred to in that post..

vandana said...

I am sure even for some crazy reason I would have thought of watching agyat(actually the movie itself was agyat to me till I read ur blog)I would scream in horror..though I am loking fwd to seeing love ajkal....I like this director a lot ..

Hip Grandma said...

Ha,ha!!I get to know Mahesh more.At least he coaxes you to watch a movie with him.Mine makes me sit through repetitive news in the 101 news channels and I just have to turn my back he tells me I've missed something.Hubs can be annoyingly cute can't they?

Anonymous said...

I have seen LOve AAjkal and enjoyed it...
Your experience with Agyaat was most inspiring, I have decided to be a pativrata nari too, never realised it was this simple ;)

Imp's Mom said...

saw LAK, liked it.. though i think it was an overdose of Saif...Deepika = wooden. Cant act. Gisele Monteiro, I liked her...

Agyaat, never. Luck maybe...

dipali said...

I liked Love Aajkal. Saif was a cute sird!

UL said...

...only you can make movie review this much fun Mampi, realy nice, now i know what to see and what not to see - horror in a theatre? Na re na!

Veena said...

me too ! I liked love aaj kal too :)

sukumbho said...

For some Agyaat reason, we dont have the good Luck to see another posting fr you for nearly a month. Ho kya gaya hai Aajkal?

Diwakar Sinha said...

I've had my share of kaminey and love aaj kal..
i think i need a piece of luck now.
good post, btw.

Veena said...

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