Sunday, February 01, 2015

I Jiggle, therefore I am

I was afraid, shy and scared of doing lunges today when the trainer asked me to try doing them with support first.
“The knee will hurt.” 
“Don’t worry, you can stop where it gets too much.” 
It turned out that my technique needed work. The moment I understood how I was to consciously use the hamstring of my back leg, and put minimal pressure on the knee of the front leg, and was to spring back to starting position instead of trying to balance myself on the same position of a lunge, I was in that Eureka moment. And I was unstoppable. After three long years, I did three sets of unassisted lunges-and I was giggling!!
Yes, I can !
And then I stumbled upon this video. And did my entire cardio on a repeat of this video and audio, and talked to myself.
“YES, I am imperfect. My tummy comes in the way when I do my abs, my flexibility has waned – my fault, I didn’t work on it for so long. Cellulite has piled on; the knees were almost going to give up because my quadriceps were getting wasted. The equilibrium needs to be worked on. My left side has grown weaker as compared to the right side, so when I do free weights, the left arm sometimes wobbles. I am not as swift in my workout as I was. Sometimes the assisted chin dips machine scares me, and I barely scrape through the workout the trainer has designed on that machine.”
“NO, I don’t give up. I do my best to suck the tummy in to cover the full range of movement that I must. I finish the reps that he wants me to do. I make sure I do everything the right way, I make sure I do everything that is planned for that hour. I modify the grip in the deadlift so that the CTS suffering wrist doesn’t weaken. The knees have to be strengthened. I will not live half a life. I sweat, I pump myself up, I tell my body – you are luckier than so many – you can work out, you can do what you want to do, you will do more than your mind had looked forward to.”
Yes, I smile through my workout, I laugh, and I enjoy it. Those endorphins calm me down – make me feel a part of the bigger picture.
I don’t like the way the body looks but that’s the only body I have – and I better love it . And for the love of it, I better work on it !!
I am one of these girls, I am all these girls.
Yess !!!
I rock !!!

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