Tuesday, March 09, 2010

...And On this 9th March

You went
I crumbled away.
then I gathered the bits again
and built myself
limb by limb
again.

Some days
the pasting was
just a bit harder
then life came along
to give me a wall
to lean against.

Now,
why am I scared
of forgetting you?

***

Some days you do not have the luxury to cry. On those days, you do not have the compulsion to laugh either. You go back, and again try to balance all your equations. And you suddenly find that life was not fair to you. That life took from you what you desperately needed. And then you suddenly realise that another side to balancing the equations is to start counting your blessings. You had realised that three was not four and five was not six; but you recall that you have had some threes that plussed with one to make a four, and some plussed with two to make five.

Life gave you the cards that you could deal in your own way. It were your hands that mattered. But some hands are just not lucky with cards.

Like clay. It destroyed a pot, then you picked up the bits and pieces, and kneaded it again and wet your hands again and then you put it again on the wheel. It took another shape to give you one complete whole.

You are scared, lest this new vessel should break too. So you cover it, so you protect it-at all costs. At your cost. And then you set it free.

I know the story is not complete. It can never be completed. Not by me...


19 comments:

maheshinder_singh said...

Just to share will you all,today is Mampi's dad's death anniversary. I never met that gentle soul, but I always think that if Mampi is such a good human, she ought to have taken so much from her dad.As Mampi sometimes remembers and says that her Dad wanted her to be toil more and more,I wish he was here and see by himself.I thank you Dad for giving me the best that you had. Rest in peace.You will always remain with us.

How do we know said...

@ Mahesh: Thank God.. the post finally makes sense.. i was beginning to get really worried... she didnt mention abt this when we were talking today..

@ mampi: Am sorry.. this is not a loss that can be sympathised with... but i really, truly am sorry...

Oreen said...

okay, thanks for the clarification, I guess.

sometimes I forget my mom's death anniv...it passes and I call up my dad later...and he talks of a rubber plant that didn't live for ten years...

Ash said...

ਨਦੀਆ ਵਾਹ ਵਿਛੁੰਨਿਆ ਮੇਲਾ ਸੰਜੋਗੀ ਰਾਮ ॥

Hapi said...

Every year .. this day makes me think .. what if I didnt go to bed on the night of 8th .. may be i wont have to wake up to see daddy gone..
what if daddy is still with us... life would have been so different.
but all I got now is.... what if...
what if.. and what if..
they say ... there are stages in greiving .. and last one is acceptence ... but no one tells after how many years does that stage come .. ..

Kiran said...

I would like to share a few lines by David Harkins:

" You can shed tears that she is gone
or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on...

You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she wanted:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on "

Rajindarjit said...

Though physically he is no more, your Daddy is always with you all.
You keep his memory alive with your deep feelings, with remembrances and homages given here in.
God Bless You all !
Dhindsa

Mampi said...

Mahesh-Thanks for being the wall that I could lean against.

HDWK-Thanks my dear. Your words mean a lot.

Oreen-Parents are so precious.

Ash-So true.

Hapi-If, If, If...Many ifs remain and live inside us. But Now what remains is to hold very dear everything we have.

Kiran-Thank you for these words my dear. They mean a lot today.

Mama-You are one brave soul and You keep us going. Be what you are, always!

Sukanya said...

9th of june
it was, for me
your tag 'daddy'
said it all
and your words
are like bubbles
that emerge
from the profounds
of an ocean

what a beautiful poem of harkin
shared by kiran...

roop said...

this is one of your best writings!!!

have no more words to say.

...

Anonymous said...

Didi
Mamaji is always with us though not physically.......so let's remember all d good times that we have spent with him....
RAMAN

Mithe said...

Oh Ma'am..I was really startled by this post! But Sir Explained just now.Your father must have been a gem of a person.But I think its a good way to remember him...that poem touched the heart....

Pinku said...

Hugs....


what else is there to say??

sunshinesafar said...

Thanks for the clarification. I was really worried too. Mampi has always written such positive posts that somehow this was not in line

@Mampi: ((hugs))

dipali said...

i read all your poems with the tag 'Daddy'. Such wonderful poems, each one of them. Huge huge hugs, my dear.

UL said...

I return to such heart wrenching beauty, I am so sorry for your loss, dear Mampi, but these words would keep him alive forever...wonderfully stated.

sukumbho said...

After Time loses its sting, yeah, it's more testing to remember the loved ones. We pierce the fog with sunshine and reach the garden where only memorable flowers bloom.

I always like your poems: told you so. Here's one to prove my words.

Mampi said...

Sukanya-We all identify with each other's words because the loss is common.

Roop-I thought it was just a wild ramble.

Raman-Thank you for reminding.

Mithe-Sometimes I worry that I might forget him.

Pinku-Nothing more is needed.

SunShineSafar-Hugs matter more than anything.

Dipali-Thanks so much for the hugs.

UL-Well...

Sumanto-Your words always mean a lot to me. Thank you.

Manasa said...

Very true.