Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Swimming is not tough. Remember I told you? Well, it is all about kicking your legs and moving your arms and breating rhythmically. That’s it. Only I occasionally forget to breathe inside the water and end up doing a lot of Jal Neti. As a result, my nasal and throat passage these days works smoothly like a toll managed highway.

And the moment I kick my legs and move into the middle of the pool (the small pool ji), I forget to move my arms. If I manage to remember to do both the things, I forget to breathe. The moment I realize that I have to breathe, I manage to shoot up to the surface to breathe. The neighboring swimmers (all learners, majority of them kids below 10) suddenly get alarmed and scared thinking I am in some emergent need of aid. Well, I usually search for air in such a frantic way that they seem to be ready to call the lifeguard. They stop only when I manage to communicate some consolation with a head bobbing up and down in the water. That ensures them that I am alive. So much for humanity in the pool.

If I do manage to breathe, and start to move forward with the speed of a submarine inside a tub; I end up recalling some funny event of my life and start giggling inside the water. Obviously I cannot giggle and swim in one go.

Well, swimming IS easy, only if you supplement your regime with good diet and consumption of a lot of water. Diet, I manage at home, but the water I consume these days is the water that I (accidentally) drink inside the pool; while breathing or trying to breathe. Only when I come out of the pool with a protruding tummy do I realize that I have had more than my quota of water for the day.



Anonymous said...

yuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkks!! :p reallyyyyy!!!!!!!

funny event of ur life? your life itself is a funny event, M .... but i'm uber glad that i found you to witness that funny event. it brings smiles and laughter into my own life too!! :)

peter said...

well i can't ever swim i knw that ...a kinda hydrophobic i am .... i can get drown inside a bucket on a bad day LOL :D

so temme how does it taste when u drink the same water where other parts of ur own body along wid other unknwn masses are present ...??

RiverSoul said...

Your swim-whims are really funny. ;)
But really,. . . .
Forgetting to breath?
My my. You've got gr8 concentration skillz.
It was a nice and funny read.
Thanx for visiting me humble blog.
Do come again:)
Am blogrolling ya.

Monika said...

ha ha :) but dont loose the faith keep trying and u will get there soon... u are better than me when I started learning I was not able to be in the water for more than 1 mins ;-)

Sujata said...

Mampi you have a very good sense of humor…. I love your anecdotes…

Swimming story…Very funny!!!

Believe it or not I do pretty much the same thing…..

Jasdeep said...

nice and funny read :)

"my nasal and throat passage these days works smoothly like a toll managed highway."

cudn't help laughing...

dipali said...

I know, I know- learning to coordinate three different departments while swimming was a major challenge- two would behave, and the third, it could be any of the three, would create massive confusion. Enjoy- you're getting there, Mampi!

Sidhusaaheb said...

Swimming pool water isn't always the cleanest kind...


Pinku said...


so yes how does the water taste...and what are those naughty thoughts that make u giggle underwater??

Lovely post cant stop laughing!!!

~nm said... the jal neti in the swimming pool!

Besides that I'm so envious that I don't have either time or access to a pool close my house where I can go :(

Anonymous said...

You are enjoying your swimming time, with kids.
It makes you active all the day long.
Moreover sharing of those moments is more enjoyable as your readers too feel like in swimming pool and have stock of fun too.

Very interesting posting it is.

Keep it up!


Manasa said...

I used to go to aerobics. Aerobics was actually easier compared to Yoga.

Once my friend dragged me to Yoga. I felt Pranayama was too difficult cos I didn't breathe or concentrate properly. No I can imagine your condition while breathing. Some excercises are so funny that they make me laugh while doing them :D.

Mama - Mia said...

just when you swimwear post was inspiring me to try and learn swimming this post has defi made me put my plans on the back burner!! :p

but it was cute to visualise with all the kids!! :D



Oreen said...

man, i wish i could frankly tell the world about my experiences, but one learns new things in life, and i will follow your cue and tell the world about my experiences as well. dumb is not the word and the fact that you have at least learnt to float is itself proof that you are a lot smarter than i am . . .

GOD, this made me laugh so so so loud

Mampi said...

My God I am overwhelmed, awed, touched.
Roop-I know its yuckkkk. But I had to get it outta my system, so it came here. I love you.

Peter-Welcome here. Umm, you gotta taste it to enjoy it. HeeeHeeeHeee.

RiverSoul-One forgets to breathe sometimes, when one is either in love or in the pool. Honored that you are blogrolling me.

Monika-I can stay underwater for about a minute and then bubble my way up. Will get over the hurdles soon, hopefully.

Sujata-Its so comforting to know I am not alone doing this stuff. Thanks for encouragement.

Jasdeep- I giggled in the pool again thinking of all you friends' comments and one again main gota kha gayee.

Dipali-What would I do without your words. Seriously, I feel very inspired when you say something.

SS-Thank you so much for the enlightenment. I thought it was almost filtered. HeeeHeeHee. ;)

Pinku-Pani ka taste toh pee ke hi pata chalega. Aise kaise main bataoon? I giggled again today.

~nm-Eiiw it indeed is. I had to use a great deal of willpower to overcome this eiiw feeling. Sooner of later you would learn it. I know you got a will too.

Mama-I dont think you have even dared to imagine me in the pool. By the time you come back, pools will be closed. Fer agley saal.

Manasa-I rather enjoy pranayams. And on a serious note, pranayamas have helped me in swimming. Cos i had a greater control over breathing. But I am unable to master doing all three actions together. But you are right, it is funny indeed.

Abhs-No no no, go ahead, get into the pool. This is just for fun. I am learning fast, or so M believes.

Anonymous said...

i tried not to say EEEIIIKSS!! i honestly tried....but i failed!!!

all that pool water contains chlorine...dont think u shud be drinking gallons of it...

kiran grewal said...

He he he he ……….
I am now eagerly waiting to see you swimming. I really want to come to your pool. You are such a cute darling I love to read your post, and I can’t tell you how much I laughed while reading your post. Be cool in pool while your are swimming, concentrate on your body movements try to improve your coordination first, don’t try to swim fast or to try to complete lengths that comes last, just learn to swim properly. You have only one month or two more. Now I have started feeling like a fish in a pool. I try to join you when I will come back. I really want to have your company in a pool.
Tkcr, bye
Love u

Inexplicably said...

Pssssst.....come to my page. Quick !

Got to tell ya somethin.

Maverick said...

i so want to learn to swim. i even joined a summer class, but i refuse to drown in the water and then try to stroke even if the pool is only 4 feet deep and so i ended up usinf floaters :(

Majaz said...

Reminds me of Meredith Grey.

Scary, yes.

Mampi said...

Mandy-Ok you are allowed one eiiiiks, just one.

KiranG-You are a FISH, I am a whale, so I feel like a whale.But by the end of this season, I have to swim a length of the wadda pool.

Gurpreet-I been to your page. Love you.

Mav-I am fighting with the coach to give me a right to swim in the air. He doesnt allow.

Majaz-Scarier is the view that I present, he he he.

EXSENO said...


Balvinder Singh said...

Thanks for the visit Manpreet. Your blog is really very interesting. The blog title reminds me of a gazal by Jagjeet : "Duniya jisey kahtey hain,
Jaadoo kaa khilona hai,
Mil jaye toh mittee hai,
kho jaye toh sonaa hai.

Please keep visiting".

Pradeep said...

Funny... I know it is not...!! All of us I think face such sort of thing..

By the way, Please change the link on your blogroll to my new Blog address.

Mampi said...

Ari(Oreen)-Well, you now have a written proof that I am smarter, he he he. I m waiting for the posts on so called dumb-things you did, though I sincerely doubt you did.

Exsenso-One Eiiiks allowed.Hahaha. Thanks for visiting. I went to your page and I think I will return to read your posts, all of them. Please keep dropping by, it is so encouraging to have you here.

Balvinder-Thanks for the visit. I really loved your page. Gotta read your previous posts sometime. Yes, for a long time, in my header I had written APNA CHEHRA NA BADLA GAYA, AAYEENEY SE KHAFA HO GAYE, alongwith this slogan about esteeming things lesser when we get them cheap. We seldom count our minor blessings of life which actually are what matters at the end.

Pradeep-It is indeed like this. Have updated your link in the blogroll.

Gazal said...


you deserve a hug,for all your valiant efforts.

don't worry,all these are teething problems of a learner.

all i can say is keep trying and consult a coach,who can advise on correction of technique,in case you need it.

tab tak lagi raho !!!

seema said...

i am sorry manpreet i am probably the last reader to this blog. i wish i had read it earlier cos it is so funny. i loved reading it .i am happy to know that u have started to learn to swim. i am sure it is not going to take u too long to learn. may be u will be swimming gold medalist in the next olmpics. enjoyable post.

Anonymous said...

Swimming is something that i too need to learn. But i should admit that reading your experiences are not that encouraging...hehehe

my space said...

Lol!! I have gone thru the same turmoil and alas still not learned to cordinate my arms ,legs and breath!!wish u luck great post

Mampi said...

Gazal-Thank you so much. Yes a coach is helping me, but he gives up sooner than I do, he he he.

Seema-Never too late my dear. And yes, I am actually training for the sake of my dear India. I am the only hope in swimming in London Olympics, I understand.

Liju-Dil pey mat ley yaar.

MySpace- I am sure we will overcome all the difficulties, sooner than this swimming season ends.

PARRY said...

I hope its not an excursion. With so many responses and comments by your side i bet you will make it. After reading ur post i faced my morning shower directly. Oh within seconds i was gulping for air.
Wil come to this post again sometime in future when i m in the middle of my swimming lessons.:)
Wel wel.. nasal passage and a toll highway? Too much for a metaphor. hehe.

S.M.A.R.T said...

Hi Mampi! Long time!!!

I honestly honestly tried not to say eeeeew, but my overactive imagination now making me feel like I've had all that water....:-D

Mama - Mia said...


because i love reading your blog so much, will you pls accept an award from my blog??!! :)




Vidya said...

Alright,your swimming chronicles have succeeded in making me postpone swimming lessons by one year.I have postponed learning swimming to another year and I shall go with my daughter.. :)

Mampi said...

Parry-You made me laugh too. Start swimming asap. Let the country have her own musical Mike Phelps.

SMART- One eiww is allowed per head, he he he.

Abhs-Why not, my dear, why not? It is an honor for me.

Vidya-Shame on me. I thought it would encourage you to compar